Help Me Obi-Wolf, You're My Only Hope!

There I was enjoying my self-imposed exile from the blogosphere when I was suddenly drawn out of retirement by a disturbance in the force.

Even though they still haven’t quite perfected the whole “live-via-satellite” routine, CNN thought it would somehow be worthwhile to pioneer the correspondent-in-studio-via-hologram-technique. That’s right, CNN has created, for our viewing pleasure, a real live 3D representation of a person that we can watch on TV! Don't tell the folks in the graphics department, but the people who are actually in the studio are also technically in 3D, we just can't tell at home because we’re WATCHING THEM ON TELEVISION! Now if CNN could beam Campbell Brown into my living room for a rundown of the day’s events, that'd be a different story - and something I could really get behind. But alas, we are stuck with an awkward Star Wars rip-off, and one poorly executed at that. They didn’t even bother to put an R2-D2 doll next to Wolf Blitzer, who I believe has attained the rank of Jedi Master after having been successful at controlling all the monitors in the situation room with only his mind.

CNN Correspondent Jessica Yellin - later followed by someone named Wil.i.am (who may or may not be related to the Green Eggs and Ham kid) - was beamed onto the set a la Star Trek, with the glaring exception that in Star Trek they beamed the actual person to their destination not just a grainy, blue-hazy image of him or her. They then pretty much skipped any reporting that could have been done to explain how the process works - the person is put into a green screen tent surrounded by dozens of HD cameras – as well how this format would be helpful in reducing crowd noise from whatever event the reporter might be covering; in this case the Obama celebration in Grant Park. Apparently no one in accounting was consulted, because they almost definitely would have suggested simply moving Yellin a few feet away from the crowd and giving her a better microphone.

CNN wasn’t the only network beaming with pride over its ability to use technology in completely pointless ways. NBC trapped Ann Curry in a green screen pit so that they could have her walk around in what looked like a mini-Jefferson Memorial, lurking behind the charts and graphs detailing the exit poll results. It might have been more useful to demonstrate Obama's overwhelming electoral victory if each time he won a state one of those columns collapsed on Ann Curry's head. That would have had some cache.

I’d be OK with them using these virtual reality techniques if they actually added something to the reporting, but if they’re going to drum up these detailed sets just to show me the same graphics they could with an overhead projector than they should save their money. If the economy keeps going the way it has been, they’re going to need it.

Ripped From the Airwaves

In an interesting development, it turns out that if Law & Order star and former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson does in fact run for president, NBC will have to pull any episodes of the popular procedural in which he appears. Unless they want to provide equal time to his opponents. A prospect, according to "The Washington Post", they are not about to consider.

For a looong time, the FCC has enforced the so-called equal time doctrine to ensure that for any free air time given to a candidate by a broadcaster, an equal amount be given to his or her opponent(s).

Most of the time I believe this usually involves debates, interviews, etc. (I don't think paid political ads count), but there is precedent involving a candidate whose airtime comes in the form of acting (professional as opposed to political):

During the 2003 gubernatorial race in California, television stations dropped all Arnold Schwarzenegger movies out of fear that showing them would require them to give countless hours of free airtime to all 134 other candidates for governor.

Stations also dropped "Bedtime for Bonzo" and other Ronald Reagan movies during his campaigns for governor of California and president.

NBC won't be hurting too much if they have to drop some reruns of L&O, they can always put a Fear Factor reunion in it's place. The article goes on to speculate however, on something far more intriguing:

The FCC rules have never been applied to cable channels, though several legal experts said cable often abides by an equal-time guideline in the hopes of avoiding a legal case that would set a precedent.

Thompson's situation could spark such a case...The TNT cable network shows several hours of "Law & Order" reruns every day and often holds all-day marathons. If that continues while Thompson is running for office, one of his rivals could seek to apply the equal-time rule to cable TV.

The part about setting a precedent is important. If such a situation did arise and the FCC were to step in to resolve the matter, it might give them a legal foothold to start holding cable networks to the same standards as over-the-air broadcasters on a much broader scale. That's slightly scary for a number of reasons I won't get into right now. Let's hope Mr. Thompson reconsiders his decision after he realizes it's easier to fight fictional crime than a real war.

"I once drove a rental car into the Hudson, just to practice escaping."

Alec Baldwin is the funniest guy in primetime. Sure, the folks from The Office give you the most bang for your buck week after week, but that's more of a collective hilarity. Alec Baldwin is a one man juggernaut who could do a five-minute monologue and have you rolling on the floor the entire time. If you need proof, track down last night's episode of 30 Rock and watch the scene with the b-roll of his character's attempt to make a promo tape for a new GE product. Besides, if you've ever seen any of his dozen or so appearances on SNL (Brasky, Kanker, etc.), not to mention his unexpected cameos in countless movies and shows, then my opening statement should come as no surprise.

A recent profile of entertainment's latest utility man can be found here.

As for the show, 30 Rock is solid. Not great, yet, but very entertaining. There are usually one or two laugh out loud moments a week, which is more than I can say for anything ABC ever aired as part of it's popular TGIF programming. It's also more than I am willing to say for a lot of this year's current crop of new comedies. The writing is clever, the acting is good, and the show seems to have worked out some of it's early kinks. Tom Shales had some nice things to say about the series and last night's episode in particular in yesterday's Washington Post.

Though it hasn't done spectacular in the ratings, that may soon change. The show has just been moved to Thursday nights, and beginning on Nov. 30 it will find a new home sandwiched between The Office and Scrubs, which is finally getting it's sixth season underway.

However, if ratings don't improve and NBC decides to shelve the show, they really need to consider creating a project for Mr. Baldwin. As Kenny Bania would say; "He's gold, Jerry! Gold!"